Monday, December 28, 2009

#6 Dogs

The cutest new little puppy face ever...
The naughty devil dog after she stole our neighbor's prized antlers out of their yard...
The look of "Oh shoot... I did something bad..."
Jovi helping us make bread... she's a pretty good vacuum!
Growing up we didn't have many pets, or at least conventional ones. We had a sadistic goat named William D. who tried to kill my sister. We had several rabbits who had their feet chewed off by the foxes in our yard. We had goldfish that I only remember floating on the surface of their sad little bowl. We had frogs that we drowned out of their holes so we could dress them up and "marry them" so they would make more frogs. (They all died in the saran wrap covered boxes we made for them.) And we had some wild cats who probably had lice and lived under our house. (Can you tell where I grew up? Not in the suburbs!!) But we never once had a dog.
Oh, wait, I take that back. My grandparents had a dog and while we were living with them she jumped out of the second story window and got arthritis and died. She doesn't count.
I always thought I would prefer dogs to any other animal, and secretly told myself that when I got a house of my own I would get a dog. So, a couple of months after Jon and I moved into our home, he took me to Lowe's where a teenager was selling "purebred" pups out of his truck, and I fell in love with a stinky, poopy puppy named Jovi.
Yes, I did fall in love. In fact, our "relationship" can be easily compared to some courtships I've experienced, where you overlook your "significant other's" smelly habits or quirky quirks, until the "love" runs out and you can't take it anymore and you have to break up with them over a text message. (True story.) But this "significant other" is now a part of our family, according to Jon, and I can't break up with her. Trust me, I've tried. Jovi was a darling puppy that cried all night when she was new to us and I didn't mind cleaning up after her because she was so cute and cuddly and fun. But now she is destructive and smelly and sheds on me if I even look at her. She has completely de-landscaped our backyard (no small feat) and taken over the garage as her own. I find dog hair on a daily basis in food, on Ella, or randomly stuck in some piece of clothing. It's just about all I can handle. It's a good thing Jon loves her, or she'd be LONG gone.
So, short story long, I thought I was a dog person. But I am here to tell you that I am MOST DEFINITELY NOT. I'll take a floating fish, a footless rabbit or a dead toad, but no more dogs.

p.s. - as I read this post I realize how fond I really am of this dog. If you've seen "Marley and Me" you'll understand the love/hate relationship I endure with her. But before you all get gushy and cutesy on me (and act like I'm some dog-killa), let me remind you that this dog is disgusting. Look what she SNEEZED on me!


Tara said...

Oh Bonnie - I don't know what was more funny - the devil dog with her prized antlers, William D, the suicidal arthritic dog, footless rabbits .... whenever Johnny tries to convince me to get a dog I am going to read this post. I have always known that I am not a dog person. Too bad the dog lovers out number me now.

Bonnie said...

Don't give in!

Reesa said...

Oh Bon, I know your pain. I fondly/hatefully refer to our cats as "damn devil cats." Sometimes I love them, but when I find hair in the food, poop on the floor (that doesn't happen much anymore) or they completely tear our christmas tree to the ground I could very easily throw them in the woods behind our apartment with little more than a "good luck, don't let the door hit ya." Damn devil cats. Pauly is madly in love with them. Crazy husbands. luv ya!

caitlin said...

I laughed out loud at this post. marrying frogs? dogs that jump out windows? Too funny.

I have always had this love/hate relationship with dogs, but then my soft side always comes out and we get one. I think Roamin' was the last straw, when he died, it was just too hard. But the way Bob looks at Jovie has me thinking once we get a house, we will be dog people.

Jon Hagen said...

Bob! You've got her, hook - line - and sinker!

Do it ... Do it ... Do it ... Do it

Melanie said...

So funny that I laughed right out loud. (Of course that could be because I am wide awake at 4:20 in the morning...) Nope, it was just that funny!