In college I was an editor for the newspaper. I loved writing, but editing and laying out pages was a huge challenge for me. Some people seemed to really be able to create greatness on the page out of NOTHING. It took some effort for me to feel comfortable with it. But, eventually, I did. I boldly chose color combinations and design elements like it was a sixth sense. That "sense" spilled over into my (sometimes odd) choices for decorating my apartment and dressing myself. I felt like I had a sense of who I was, and I loved expressing myself visually. (This is where some people are probably saying, "What?? You wore those outfits on purpose??" And my answer is yes... except for the helmet.)
So, now I have a whole house to decorate and design, and I'm drawing up a complete blank. Now that it's "for-reals" and I am an adult with a mortgage and a child to influence, I can't find a single wall color or plant without having a near anxiety attack. Seriously. For some reason I just can't bring myself to say what I like outloud, as if it won't be good enough or something. Because of my lack of confidence in my design sense, we now have a peach-ish tan basement. It's not my style, but it's there because I trusted in the opinion of a friend/co-worker who obviously has different taste than I do.
I just need that old style confidence back. I need to stop caring what other people think, and do what makes me feel good in my own home. Oh, and I guess I should consult Jon on this, too. We'll see!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Posted by Bonnie at Monday, December 21, 2009